Tuesday, March 29, 2011

SARASOTA WARMTH

We start out as a simple human being.
We have a very small circle, very few knots have been tied. Then as life moves on we weave our maze of relationships. Family, friends, aquaintences.... they make us who we are and we make them who they are.


I have not posted much in the last month or so.  My discipline left me for a while.  Traveling, visiting my sister and friends in Raleigh, traveling on to  Florida to visit my neice  Susan and her partner, and I fall into bed each night with a sense of warmth and love from so many people.  As I was falling asleep last night I was thinking about the people in my life and how much they mean to me.  I am limiting my comments to Sarasota.
The Household Rulers
To little time with Auntie
When we arrived in Sarasota, the home of my Suze (neice), I added to my complex maze of people a wonderful new person AND HERS.  She is Suze's partner.  I felt very included and was brought into their circle with warmth and love.  Then we had a family dinner and I met her mother, her Aunt,KIDS, Dad... her past ..... All I could do was to think of how blessed we are each day. We never know how that new person will enhance our life whether it be for a second or two, or for the rest of your life.

Melissa and Dad
I was also drawn to think about people who dread family things.  Dread having to spend time with parents and other relatives.  It made me so sad that so many folks find that the time they spend with family is a duty, boring or worse yet tedious and paintful.  How wonderful it is to be able to enjoy fully FAMILY as individuals and as a group.

Laney gives us Inspiraton

Melissa is Hiding her Mom
 Each time you are together you learn new things about people you know so well.  My sister is with me on the trip and I have learned more about her after all these years. She takes care of my needs and is so attentative.  This morning she woke me to let me know food was on the table, demonstrating caring. That is such a simple thing, but caring is shown in simple ways.  My neice provided food.  I didn't know she was such a good cook.  Yesterday and today I was made aware of her caring for us all.

Josh
When you enter a new home and take a deep breath as you are automatically faced with impressions.  Here there is a feeling of comfort, acceptance and love.  You can feel it.  Some places you go, into some homes, there is a sense of uneasiness.  Will you break something, do all the things you should, and will you meet all the expectations.  Not so here.  You are accepted, with all your faults, disabilities, and unique personality.  Thanks Suze for choosing a wonderful partner.
Laneys' Wonderful Smile

In this new home there are children.  You can tell so much by watching and interacting with the children.  The openess, participation and concern that are reflected through the honesty of children cannot be faked.  Thanks Suze for sharing this wonderful little folks with me.
Molly says, "Is this toxic>"

Mother Melissa and Son Josh 

Mother Suze and Son Jamie

<>
Extended Family Relaxing


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

SPRINGTIME TRIP SOUTH

Leaving Snowy 7205 Timber Lane , Olmsted Falls Ohio
I am told that one of the most important things to any Blog writer, or any writer.... is to sit down every day and write.  Discipline they call it.  Since I have very little of the D word I have not been engaged in my Blog activity for over a month.  I am back.  I hope to do more writing .  Just a refresher.  I am writing this blog to allow my daughter and my grandson, and anyone else that is interested, to jump into my life.  My past, my present and what I am dreaming about for the future.  It is a political commentary.  It tells of my bias.  I hope you enjoy the strange thoughts of a old crone.

I left cold,icy, slippery and grey Olmsted Falls on February 17, 2011.  I was lucky and drove all the way to Raleigh with no misadventures.  I could feel the warming every mile I drove.  It seems kinda risky as I look back, I had had major surgery on the 7th.  But it was by laproscope and nada issues , so why not?   Alyce was off on Friday and the weekend was upon us.  The very first thing was a meeting at Jason's Deli with the Kindle Girls.  It was so good to see both Nancy and Barbara.  We didn't talk a lot about books, but did manage to report of a few we had read.   My visit with Jane Brown, friends since 1960, was so deeply wonderful that there will be more of it later.

Two Craddock Women...Jean (right) and daughter Lynn
I was able  to have a long visit with the Thompsons --Jean and  Bill. Lynn and her son joined us at Wilburs Barbecue.  I was treated to a great meal as usual.  It was wonderful to be with them and hear about family.  Wish she and Lynn could have been with us in Raleigh at the family Craddock Women of NC..get together at Gail Craddocks.

Bill, Jean's hubby,looking like Kenny Rogers...at Wilburs


NORTH CAROLINA BARBCUE..OMG
 I rested and spent the next week warming up and catching up in Raleigh.  I know why one should write every day ... the details of those two weeks before we started to Florida are very sketchy.    We packed the car and started or trip on March 5.  We drove straight through to Sarasota and it was a very pleasant day.  Alyce and I took turns.  She didn't use to help drive, but does now.  That was terrific. My nephew Jeff was the backbone of the trip.  He helped and helped and helped.  His presence as a traveling companion cannot be touted enough.  Jeff, THANK YOU.


Arrival in Sarasota was so warm and wonderful.  Meeting Susans' new family was a treat.  Melissa is warm, loving and really a great person.  Her children  Laney and Josh were a positive force in the house.  They are terrific kids.  Whoever said that the younger generation is going downhill just don't know what they are really like.  These two are so bright and loving.   Well, they take after their Mom, what can I say.  The hospitality was outstanding.  I did not know that Susan was such a good cook!! More Later.

Melissa and Son, Josh  So Handsome!



Laney...Girls are Wonderful!




Special Art by Laney
I took off for places even further south.  Visiting my long time friend Alice Parrish is always wonderful and this visit was no different.  She entertained me grandly.  I envy her lovely house so much.  It boasts a guest house where I got so much rest!  I really guess I may have traveled a little earlier than I should have after the surgery so by the time I got there I was really exhausted.  I slept late every day.  When I pulled myself off the most comfortable bed I have slept in in years, I was served the most yummy  grapefruit juice ever. Much more later about this wonderful friend and visit.
  Alice brings in grapefruit from the tree (she planted the tree when she first moved in, it had been a houseplant for years.)   She puts it into the refrigerator a few days before using and squeezes the fruit right before serving.  Yummmmm   We spent time with Stel and Ed.  Each have lost a mate in the two weeks prior to my getting there.  I felt so sad for them.  But we laughed and ate together.  It is fun to get to see the real part of Florida and not the tourist part. I have a blog dedicated to Alice and will post it soon.

Back to Sarasota for a few days.  More good food, outings to include picnicking and quilt showing, was next on the agenda.  Meeting Melissa's mom and Aunt was a treat as well as spending time with them.  I just regret that it was such a short time.  I really enjoyed them and feel like I have made new friends.   We left early in the morning of the 12th and had a long tedious trip.  We decided to go through Atlanta and that made our trip a two day one.  All three of us were zombies when we pulled into Raleigh. 

Seaside Club, Wilmington A Very old Vintage Place
Dermas beloved Wilmington Home
I took off again for Wilmington and a visit with my friend Derma.  She has a lovely home with a carriage house.  Again, I was treated like royalty.  Her home is the most comfortable place you can imagine.  We talked nonstop and ran here and there.  She shared with me her friends and I feel that I have made some friendships of my own that will last a long time.  These women, Marie, Vivian, and Carol were so knowledgeable and engaged.  I so wish I had friends like that in Ohio.  Derma is a really lucky woman and deservedly so.  Marie and Carol are nurses, Vivian a teacher and Meredith graduate.  I wanted to talk all night.

Vicki and Carol   Two Craddock Ladies... More Later
Back to Raleigh for a a weeks rest before starting back.  I have had the pleasure of meeting again my relative, Gary Hayden (one of the Grands of the Craddock brothers).  Gail Craddock, my cousin, is the best organizer.  She did the first family get to gather when I first got to Raleigh.  Craddock Ladies of North Carolina.  We were the granddaughters of the Craddock Brothers.  Her North Hills  house has been the site of our gettogethes.  We were missing the two Jeans.  Jean Craddock the granddaughter of Bernie and Jean Craddock Thompson., the granddaughter of Versa. We were also missing Betty Ray Hankins the granddaughter of Cecil.  Her hubby, Clarence, (I was in her wedding) died just a few weeks ago.

This week will find me having dinner with Gail and Nancy, , attending an event at Christ Church on Wednesday, doing a workshop with Sharon at Jerry's on Thursday, and going Chicky looking at the feed store in Pittsboro on Friday.  On Sunday, I will   travel to Salem Virginia to spend a yet undetermined amount of time with Betty Ray, my.cousin.  I hope to have lunch and visit with another cousin, Betsy Ray Wrenn Groseclose, and a college friend while I am there. 

This may become a yearly thing.  No one wants to come to Cleveland, so I guess the only alternative is to come south.  Not that I am complaining. 
I did not get to see or spend time with special special people.  That is my sadness.  Time takes away our freedom by impairing our body or our mind.  This is so painful to me.  The people who have meant so much to me in my life are so missed.  When it is impossible to touch them, to hold them, and to tell them how much I love and miss them. my sadness is almost overwhelming.  No one told me that it would hurt so much.



Sunday, February 20, 2011

A LOVE STORY MAKES YOUR HEART SING

I read this recently and recalled my visit to the Ghetto.  My feeling when I was simply riding through in a tour bus was shivering.  I cannot imagine how it would have been to actually live there. I was in Poland doing a project for USAID and meeting the people and seeing the places made my heart really cry.  Just think in the midst of all the horror, love wins.

My posting tonight, however, is really in honor of my friend who is helping a couple with many memories like this one, spend their last days on earth.  She has for years honored them as her friends with a heart as big as the heart of the little girl.  I respect you and am glad to call you friend!

A Girl With An Apple
(This is a true story and you can find out more by Googling Herman Rosenblat. He was Bar Mitzvahed at age 75)
August 1942. Piotrkow , Poland .
The sky was gloomy that morning as we waited anxiously. All the men, women and children of Piotrkow's Jewish ghetto had been herded into a square. Word had gotten around that we were being moved. My father had only recently died from typhus, which had run rampant through the crowded ghetto. My greatest fear was that our family would be separated. 'Whatever you do,' Isidore, my eldest brother, whispered to me,'don't tell them your age. Say you're sixteen.I was tall for a boy of 11, so I could pull it off. That way I might be deemed valuable as a worker.An SS man approached me, boots clicking against the cobblestones, and then asked my age 'Sixteen,' I said. He directed me to the left, where my three brothers and other healthy young men already stood.My mother was motioned to the right with the other women, children,sick and elderly people.I whispered to Isidore, 'Why?'He didn't answer.
I ran to Mama's side and said I wanted to stay with her  'No, 'she said sternly.'Get away. Don't be a nuisance. Go with your brothers.'She had never spoken so harshly before. But I understood:She was protecting me. She loved me so much that, just this once,she pretended not to. It was the last I ever saw of her.
My brothers and I were transported in a cattle car to Germany ..We arrived at the Buchenwald concentration camp one night later and were led into a crowded barrack. The next day, we were issued
uniforms and identification numbers. 'Don't call me Herman anymore.' I said to my brothers. 'Call me 94983.'I was put to work in the camp's crematorium, loading the dead  into a hand-cranked elevator.I, too, felt dead. Hardened, I had become a number.Soon, my brothers and I were sent to Schlieben, one of Buchenwald ' sub-camps near Berlin ..One morning I thought I heard my mother's voice.'Son,' she said softly but clearly, I am going to send you an angel.Then I woke up. Just a dream. A beautiful dream.But in this place there could be no angels. There was only work And hunger. And fear
.A couple of days later, I was walking around the camp, around the barracks, near the barbed-wire fence where the guards could not easily see. I was alone. On the other side of the fence, I spotted someone: a little girl with light,almost luminous curls. She was half-hidden behind a birch tree I glanced around to make sure no one saw me. I called to her softly in German. 'Do you have something to eat?' She didn't understand. I inched closer to the fence and repeated the question in Polish. She stepped forward. I was thin and gaunt, with rags wrapped around my feet, but the girl looked unafraid. In her eyes, I saw life.She pulled an apple from her woolen jacket and threw it over the fence. I grabbed the fruit and, as I started to run away, I heard her say faintly, 'I'll see you tomorrow.I returned to the same spot by the fence at the same time every day.She was always there with something for me to eat - a hunk of bread or,better yet, an apple.We didn't dare speak or linger. To be caught would mean death for us both.I didn't know anything about her, just a kind farm girl, except that she understood Polish. What was her name?  Why was she risking her life for me  Hope was in such short supply, and this girl on the other side of the fence gave me some, as nourishing in its way as the bread and apples.  Nearly seven months later, my brothers and I were crammed into a coal car and shipped to Theresienstadt camp in Czechoslovakia  'Don't return,' I told the girl that day. 'We're leaving.'

I turned toward the barracks and didn't look back, didn't even say  good-bye to the little girl whose name I'd never learned, the girl with the apples. We were in Theresienstadt for three months. The war was winding down and Allied forces were closing in, yet my fate seemed sealed.On May 10, 1945, I was scheduled to die in the gas chamber at 10:00 AM.  In the quiet of dawn, I tried to prepare myself. So many times death  seemed ready to claim me, but somehow I'd survived. Now, it was over.I thought of my parents. At least, I thought, we will be reunited. But at 8 A .M. there was a commotion. I heard shouts, and saw people  running every which way through camp. I caught up with my brothers.Russian troops had liberated the camp! The gates swung open  Everyone was running, so I did too. Amazingly, all of my brothers had survived; I'm not sure how. But I knew that the girl with the apples had been the key to my survival.  In a place where evil seemed triumphant, one person's goodness had saved my life, had given me hope in a place where there was none.  My mother had promised to send me an angel, and the angel had come.  Eventually I made my way to England where I was sponsored by a  Jewish charity, put up in a hostel with other boys who had survived the Holocaust and trained in electronics. Then I came to America , where my brother Sam had already moved. I served in the U. S. Armyduring the Korean War, and returned to New York City after two years

By August 1957 I'd opened my own electronics repair shop.I was starting to settle in.One day, my friend Sid who I knew from England called me.'I've got a date. She's got a Polish friend. Let's double date.'A blind date? Nah, that wasn't for me.But Sid kept pestering me, and a few days later we headed up to the
Bronx to pick up his date and her friend Roma.I had to admit, for a blind date this wasn't so bad. Roma was a nurse at a Bronx hospital. She was kind and smart. Beautiful, too, with swirling brown curls and green, almond-shaped eyes that sparkled with life. The four of us drove out to Coney Island . Roma was easy to talk to, easy to be with. Turned out she was wary of blind dates too!
We were both just doing our friends a favor. We took a stroll on the boardwalk, enjoying the salty Atlantic breeze, and then had dinner by the shore. I couldn't remember having a better time  We piled back into Sid's car, Roma and I sharing the backseat.
As European Jews who had survived the war, we were aware that much had been left unsaid between us. She broached the subject, 'Where were you,' she asked softly, 'during the war?''The camps,' I said. The terrible memories still vivid, t he irreparable loss..I had tried to forget. But you can never forget
She nodded. 'My family was hiding on a farm in Germany ,not far from Berlin ,' she told me. 'My father knew a priest,and he got us Aryan papers.'I imagined how she must have suffered too, fear, a constant companion. And yet here we were both survivors, in a new world.'There was a camp next to the farm.' Roma continued. 'I saw a boy there and I would throw him apples every day.'What an amazing coincidence that she had helped some other boy.'What did he look like? I asked.'He was tall, skinny, and hungry. I must have seen him every day for six months.' My heart was racing. I couldn't believe it  This couldn't be.'Did he tell you one day not to come back because he was leaving Schlieben?'Roma looked at me in amazement. 'Yes!'
'That was me!'
I was ready to burst with joy and awe, flooded with emotions.
I couldn't believe it! My angel.'I'm not letting you go.' I said to Roma. And in the back of the car on that blind date, I proposed to her. I didn't want to wait
'You're crazy!' she said. But she invited me to meet her parents for Shabbat dinner the following week.
There was so much I looked forward to learning about Roma, but the most important things I always knew: her steadfastness, her goodness. For many months, in the worst of circumstances, she had come to the fence and given me hope. Now that I'd found her again, I could never let her go.That day, she said yes. And I kept my word. After nearly 50 years of marriage, two children and three grandchildren, I have never let her go.
Herman Rosenblat of Miami Beach , Florida
This story is being made into a movie called The Fence.

Friday, February 11, 2011

MY TRIP TO EGYPT -- MEMORIES

Our Ship
Me at Pyramids...














In the fall of 2001  my friend Pat and I decided to do the trip of a lifetime.  We boarded a cruise ship from the Renaissance Line, now the Oceania Line, in Hong Kong and in 48 days landed in Athens.



Our Trip


 There are many memories, but for this entry, I wish to concentrate on our stop in Egypt.   I will just briefly set the stage regarding the ship.  We were on the sixth floor and had a stern room.  There were only four rooms on that end of the ship;  two small ones and two owners; suites.  Our room was so outstanding because we viewed the ports of all the cities we visited as we departed.  I did a set of these pictures and if I find them, I will share them.


Map of Canal and Port Said

We traveled through the Suez canal to the Port Said.  When we arrived, Pat and I decided to take the tour to the Pyramids.  We had taken the opportunity to do this on all of the ports of call and we were especially excited .  The trip required a rather long, about three hours, if I remember correctly, ride from the ship to the tourist site.  We drove through the city of Cairo, listened to our  guide as he explained where we were, visited the museum of Egyptian Antiquities, the Pyramids, and the Sphinx. 

Tourist Bus
When we boarded the bus, both of us almost got off and went back to the ship.  We were preceded by two heavily armed escorts.  Not only did they have automatic weapons, but were laden down with sidearms.  There were two of them in the back of the bus, and two in the front.  Scary.  One faced us, the other faced the front of the bus.  Not only did we have those folks on board, but we were escorted by jeeps, guards, and  that were very armed.  I repeat, yes, we were frightened but before we could decide we were on our way.




Military Escort
The museum was absolutely wonderful.  Some of the items were labeled so we could read, but mostly the explanation was in Arabic.  We then began the trip to the Pyramids.   We passed through what is thought to be one of the most destitute of slums and the guard gave much history.  Apparently this has existed since before Christ. 


As soon as we arrived we were bombarded with vendors and people wanting to take us on special trips through the pyramids.  The tiny door and even smaller steps discouraged us and we did not venture into them.  We did spend an hour or more wandering around the site dreaming of the centuries and the people who had walked before us.  We also declined a ride on a camel.  I had that experience in Petra and it was not one that I wanted to repeat.


Pyramids and Sphinx
We boarded the bus, dusty and tired, to return to the luxury of our ship.  As luck would have it, less than an hour outside the Pyramids, on our way back to Cairo, our bus broke down.  It was not our favorite time to watch the soldiers guarding us while the bus was repaired.  I cannot remember if we had another bus or if they fixed ours.... but it took far too long for comfort.

My one souvenir

It was dark when we returned to our state room and dropped from exhaustion.  It had been a lifetime goal to see what we had seen that day!   I have no desire to return.  Although it was in the fall the temperature was in the hundreds many days.


Museum Then.......

 Today?  I am watching the square with such interest.  The police that we encountered were polite and appeared very competent.  When it was reported that the military had pointed the guns away from the crowds and the palace, it appeared to be a statement of neutrality.  That gave me much hope.  At this moment in time, it appears that they have taken the role of guardian.  I am praying this is so and that the Egyptian people can feel the freedom that I have my entire life.  It is prophetic that the one thing I brought home was a crafty scarab.  My favorite meaning is Transformation.



 

Now




Wednesday, February 9, 2011

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?...My Lists

I woke up this morning and in that time between sleep and awareness, I thought of my travels and how excited I am to be going to North Carolina and Florida next month.  I decided to list the countries I have visited.  and later write some more detailed discussion of my experiences. I also decided to do bodies of water, my favorite things.  I know for many of you this is boring but I just wanted to chronicle my travels and some of my impressions.

Countries
  1. Canada:    Visited in the seventies for the first time and I have returned four times. Best time was when Ralph and I drove across to Jasper and then down back into Montana. took three weeks to do it leisurely.  We started by going up the coast of Maine, then over to Nova Scotia, up to new Brunswick, down to Ontario and across through all the cities. Wonderful trip.  We read to each other all the way.
  2. Mexico:   Early in the seventies, Joe and I became interested in this part of the world.  We visited four or five times.  Most complex visit was with Leah and Joe's mother.Very traumatic in that we last an entire collection of Barbies in Mexico City. That is an entree story.  I met Joe in Puerto Vallarto when he came back from India. 
  3. Puerto Rico:  Visited here several times.  First time was to survey for Joint Commission.  Policy and Procedure books in Spanish.
  4. Bermuda : On a cruise, of course.
  5. Virgin Islands: with Sterling on Disney cruise 
  6. Jamaica:  to attend a Wedding
  7. England:   At least five times, not counting changes of planes.  Best times was with Sterling and with my sister.  Lots more about this later. Time with Ralph and seeing Cheryl were also terrific.
  8. Scotland:  The beautiful Lakes with Alyce
  9.  Ireland: Coolest time with Sterling- will never forget the Ring of Kerry 
  10. Wales:  Twice visited, loved each time. 
  11. France:  Seeing Paris and surrounding area with my French Historian..unbelievable.
  12. Switzerland:  Five or six visits to the airport coming and going to Arabia, only three to really explore.  
  13. Lichtenstein:  Just a few short hours.
  14. Netherlands/Holland: My weekend visit with Katie and Villiam.  The trip into Germany to the Christmas market in Essen.
  15. Belgium: A brief visit but impressive.
  16. Germany:  Six visits.  My best time was with Jim and drinking beer.  New Years Party
  17. Poland: Such an in depth view of a war torn country. A month well spent.
  18. Romania:  A wonderful three week visit  The way that people lived during the time of communism.  Scary health care with dogs in the Emergency Room.
  19. Bulgaria: Short drive through and comfortable night.
  20. Hungary:  Two weeks of scary hospital insight.
  21. Czech Republic: Another two weeks examining hospitals and health care professionals.
  22. Turkey:  A day only.  I would love to return.  From breakfast to midnight was not enough, and only in Istanbul.
  23. Cyprus: A day on two occasions
  24. Italy:  never enough!!!
  25. Croatia:  Such a wonderful visit and place.  Almost three months. So many stories.  Finally Ralph got to see his beloved Yugoslavia
  26. Austria: Twice spending a couple of days. 
  27. Bosnia:  Just a drive through.
  28. Slovenia:  Shopping for crystal, eating in roadside restaurants.
  29. Israel:  One visit.  Driving in from Jordan and staying in the Arab sector and having an Arab travel guide.  Unbelievable. Not your typical visit.
  30. Jordon:  Five days.  The one place everyone, in my opinion should go.... PETRA.
  31. Egypt:  Scary, being escorted by armed jeeps from port to pyramids.  I don't want to go back.
  32. Oman: Traveling by car, being really taken to the cleaners by the driver...long story
  33. Dubai: A short weekend with so many stories.
  34. Djibouti: Another weekend story.
  35. Saudi Arabia:  Three years of stories, from the empty quarter to the Asir.
  36. Kuwait:  By boat and just a jump on and back on the ship.
  37. Bahrain: Four visits.  The conference for Nursing for Gulf States and speaking there, best experience.
  38. India.:  I do not need or want to go back.  It drove my husband Joe to distraction.  Many stories that took place on the soil and some that did not. His WHO team stomped out smallpox in this country.
  39. Nepal:  Magnificent, tiring.
  40. Pakistan:  Trying to recruit with people lying in the floor holding onto my feet, crying in one of the most beautiful hotels in the world.
  41. Malaysia: Kula Lampoor with its beauty.
  42. Thailand: .Four days exploring and staying in the Oriental Hotel.  Luxury
  43. China:  Seven days in the southern tier.  Such control.  Our special tour guides. Cant wait to tell you about these experiences.
  44. Singapore:  Beautiful zoo, orchid gardens and lovely garments.
  45. Viet Nam:  Three cities a day each.  So much more to see.
  46. Hong Kong:  Two visits, such stories of shopping, tea at the hotel, shopping shopping shopping.
Bodies of Water... My favorite list
  • Artic Ocean
  • Atlantic Ocean
  • Adriatic Sea   Beauty not surpassed, the week on the coast with Nancy, Ralph and family
  • Aegean Sea
  • Arabian Sea
  • Baltic Sea   Bits of amber picked up in the sand....
  • Bay of Bengal
  • Bay of Fundi
  • Bering Sea
  • Black Sea
  • Caribbean Sea
  • Celtic Sea
  • Chattahoochee River
  • Chesapeake Bay
  • Chukchi Sea  is where Barrow is.  Barrow is the most northern city of US in Alaska.  Three days here were a long time.
  • Colorado River
  • Connecticut River (Mass, NH, VT)
  • Columbia River
  • Crater Lake, Oregon
  • Cumberland River, Tenn
  • Dardanelles Strait
  • Danube River (Austria, Croatia, Hungary, Romania)
  • Dead Sea
  • Delaware Bay
  • Delaware River, Delaware New Jersey
  • Drava River, Croatia
  • English Channel
  • Euphrates River
  • Finger Lakes
  • Fraser River, Alaska
  • Great Lakes
  • Gulf of Aden
  • Gulf of Alaska
  • Gulf of Aqaba
  • Gulf of Bahrain
  • Gulf of California
  • Gulf of Maine
  • Gulf of Mexico
  • Gulf of Oman
  • Gulf of Suez
  • Gulf of Thailand
  • Gulf of Tonkin
  • Hudson Bay, Canada
  • Humboldt River, Nevada
  • Illinois River
  • Indian Ocean
  • Ionian Sea
  • Irish Sea
  • James River, VA
  • Kansas River
  • Kennebec River
  • Kentucky Lake
  • Kentucky River
  • Lake Barkley
  • Lake Champlain
  • Lake Erie
  • Lake Geneva
  • Lake George
  • Lake Huron
  • Lake Lucerne
  • Lake Meade
  • Lake Michigan
  • Lake Okeechobee
  • Lake Ontario
  • Lake Pontchartrain
  • Lake St. Clair
  • Lake Superior
  • Lake Tahoe
  • Lake Winnipesaukee
  • Lake Zurich
  • Little Missouri River
  • Loch Lomond
  • Loch Ness
  • Long Island Sound
  • Mediterranean Sea
  • Merrimack River, MA, NH
  • Meuse River
  • Miami River
  • Minnesota River
  • Mississippi river
  • Missouri River
  • Mobile Bay
  • Narragansett Bay, RI
  • Neuse River
  • Nile River, Egypt
  • North Sea
  • North Channel
  • Oder River, Poland
  • Ohio River
  • Pacific Ocean
  • Patuxent River
  • Pearl River
  • Pee Dee River
  • Penobscot River
  • Potomac River
  • Prut River, Romania
  • Red River
  • Rhine river
  • Rio Grande River
  • St. Johns River, Florida
  • Saint Lawrence River
  • St. Lawrence Seaway
  • Salt Lake
  • San Antonio River
  • San Joaquin River
  • Savannah River
  • Sea of Crete
  • Seine River  Walking day after day with Ralph, having coffees, looking at books, learning the history
  • Squam Lake..... Beautiful.  Movie On Golden Pond was filmed here.
  • Snake River Strait of Dover
  • Suez Canal:  Have traversed the entire canal.  A magnificent work.  Sand, dunes, bleak.
  • Susquehanna River, PA
  • Thames River:  Crossing and recrossing in London. 
  • Tigris Rover
  • Trent River
  • Utah lake.
  • Wabash River
  • White River
  • Wye River, England, Wales   Sitting on the porch at Bruberry House in England and taking in the English countryside and herds of sheep looking across the Wye to Wales.
  • Yadkin River
  • Yellowstone River
  • Yukon River
  • Gulf of St. Milo

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

SUPPORT.....DEFINING THE CONCEPT

Support

What does support really look like?  Seems like this is a question that defies real definition.  But, as usual,I shall try anyhow. It is so clear that every individual person, every individual person at an age, every culture, and every family defines support differently.  A common thread that goes through the concept is that it is almost NEVER TALKED ABOUT.  As individuals we just say "Thank You" and remember as time goes on the things our folks, friends, family or even strangers, have done to be supportive.  Maybe I can even define support with a little trepidation.... I was so surprised to see what I got when I Googled....I found so many different types of definitions that I decided that examples from MY LIFE would best tell my story and maybe yours is similar. As I got into this I just knew I would miss someone, I would miss some important things, and I have missed many,  but I will take that risk.


•give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to;
When I read this definition, I think of so many of you.  I think of
my daughter who insists I can do things I used to do,and brings little goodies almost daily,  
my sister who seems to always be lurking in the background and knows things i need before I do, I think of
my friend Jane who sticks with me no matter how bad my manners are, she has done so many things that I could never list them... one specific that I want to mention..... one little orchid she brought me when I was so afraid, hurting and had lost my way  brought hope to me,then there is
Maggi who gives me so many atta girls through her answers to my email stuff and smiles and shares her life,i miss her..... there is my cousin,
Gail, newly rediscovered, who just stops by and chats-I will never forget a few moments she stopped by when I was in Rex Rehab, i miss her
Derma's calls ever so often,
Nancy who shared her family with me in a far off place,
Nancy B's response to my blog and emails-she thinks through and shares, i miss her...
Sterling makes sure I dont stumble and fall,
Suze who makes me feel like she wants to include me in her life, little phone talks
Justin who daily does little chores i used to have to do, he will never know how much i appreciate...
my friends from college and from high school who still stay in touch, 
Pat who biked down and spent some very special time with me in the Enclave....
old friends whose phone call every week or so makes my heart shiver.
Phala, there are not words to talk about the many hours she helped me....I could never every thank her enough....
Jeff who is sensitive to old bones and muscles and provides that extra tote in from the car...
Harry who keeps me up to date about church and is always ready to escort me.

•the activity of providing for or maintaining by supplying with money or necessities;people around me who take the time to get a sense of what I need money wise or necessities.. mostly in the way of necessities.  Everyone is different, but it is for me, it is the giving of little gifts of food like the goodies my daughter brings over, or
Jim and Mary who send the little in the mail food gifts on occassions,
Maggi shared with me some paints she won, that was so wonderful.  So far, thank goodness, no money is required.  But I know the few dollars I used to give
Rose in Sanford were so appreciated but her home cooked meals were more appreciated by me
At that time, the hundred dollar bill was nothing to me, but for her was a fortune. I may be there someday. My
 Aunt Frances who knew I needed and provided from my birth until she died.
My daughter in opening her home to me


•aiding the cause or policy or interests of; "they developed a scheme of mutual support"
So many of you support my efforts at my art.
JoAnn, Maggi, people at Sertoma, Bob Burridge, and  other peers tell me to keep going as we paint together.  Then there is JoAnn's words, Go Get Um'

•back: be behind; approve of;
 I shall never forget people who gave me this support in my life.
My grandparents in their consistent belief in me through college, they told me and they told others.  There was
Phil who got me started in consultation,
Rosemary who knew I would be a good surveryor, there is
Alice who was my boss and my mentor always,
Bob who gave me such support by a job even i didn't know i could do,
Alice who believed in me for over thirty years....
Andrea who trusted me enough to come to work at Barnes,
Wally and Cheryl who stood behind me as my assistants, 
Ms P who never made a comment but so aptly knew where every paper was and was most supportive of me every day, my staff at Moore, Barnes, Arabia,
I am in real trouble here because I cant stop ..... but a special place goes to
Janice who did everything she could to make OiS successful.
My sister in all our talks and trips, but especially riding with me in the trip after trip to pick up Sterling or return him, taking me on a weekend to hear Willy, and on and on and on..to and from hospitals, shopping....
Support through the years.  Seems so sad that we cant pay everyone back or that we do not remember all until our memory is jogged....the warm and wonderful deeds we get done for us.    Thanks to all of you.......

Monday, January 31, 2011

AFTER SURGERY, A CLEVELAND CLINIC EVALUATION

Tis the last day of January. This is just what I remember of my surgery, I may remember more later and these comments are only just what I remember.

 It has been one week since I posted my departure to Cleveland Clinic and my surgery.  I was really very apprehensive, I usually am not too worried, but this time I was going to unknown territory. I left home with my daughter and huge teaching notebook. A REALLY WELL DONE PRE OPERATIVE INSTRUCTION BOOKLET.  I am glad, however, that I read above the fifth grade level.  Most people do not and as I checked the booklet, it was written for college level.   More apprehensive each mile we drove.

First, let me tell you that, ALL WENT WELL, in terms of outcome.  No Cancer!!  My problem was a little one and my recovery was fast and good.outcoome.  I really have no reason to complain, but things were so different for me and I feel obligated to comment.

When I arrived at the Surgical Center, it was a long walk to the check in desk.  The clerk was sorta robotically efficient.  Had her spiel down pat.  My daughter was given a beeper and a piece of paper with a code.  That code allowed her to follow my progress on any of many screens.  It would tell her when the surgery started, was going on, over....etc.   We sat down and waited.  Others were scattered about waiting for news.  I was puzzled, it was a small room.  I was to find out that there must have been dozens of these little rooms, waiting rooms, with tv's , newspapers and people waiting.  The chairs were old and worn.  Upholstered and had stains.  I was concerned.   Plants were dying.   First sign of a failing organization. (as per Lelan Kaiser, PHD).

It was not long before I was called to yet another desk on yet another level.  We had been told to go to room 33.  We arrived to a hall with doors and numbers.  Not a soul around.  We knocked on the door, it opened and a nurse welcomed us into a small preparation room.   I certainly  was not the center of attention.  It was another patient who had informed another nurse of words in Yiddish and that was the center of attention.  I joined into the rather interesting discourse...but my  anxiety did not lessen.  I was thinking how routine and removed from the process they really were..  They did have the two identifier concept down.... I cannot tell you how many times I said Russelline Greenlaw, August 1.   I was prepared by putting on the usual gown and cap, adding a couple of identification bracelets, and crawled into a uncomfortable stretcher. It was not long before another nurse came in, started an iv, took a few vitals..... My daughter and I waited a little while and I was off to the operating room.  I was frightened.  I had not spent one single minute with either an anesthesiologist or nurse anestensis, except for my pre op visit.  I found this to be really strange.  Had they seen me when I didn't know it? 
.
I was taken down hall after hall to the operating room.  The man who took me was wonderful.  His conversation was easy.  He had been at the Clinic for a number of years in this same job.  Somehow the grey in his hair and the easiness of his voice helped so much.  When I arrived outside my operating room, people started coming up to me....individually then in group.  I FINALLY saw my first anesthesia person.  A seemingly competent nurse anesthetist.  He asked the right questions and seemed very competent.  The anesthesisologist showed up and didn't communicate.  I asked which agents I would get.  He slurred all his words, but laughed when he said I would get Propronal, like Michel Jackson. And he walked away.  Then there was something of a team that asked all kinds of questions.... like what i was having done, and my name and birth date,  again the concept of two identifiers and making sure of the site and surgery being done.  All this in the impersonal hallway with very impersonal people walking briskly up and down.

They rolled me into the room.  I looked around and identified all that was going on, watched the scrub nurse setting up the instruments.... and said to the anaesthetist... I am so scared and anxious I am going to jump off this table!!  He motioned  to someone, and said that he was giving me something that would help.  I said WHAT?  A little versed.... I did calm down.  I was then asked to move to the table from the stretcher... I did.  That is the last I remember for a while.  Turns out it was about four hours.

I cannot remember much about anything until I was in my room.  I do not know where the room was except on a unit of some sort.  Leah came in.  She seemed a little upset, but my pain didn't let me see her very well.  The nurse gave me something.  I went to sleep.  My memory is so bad for the events that marched past me for the next 24 hours.  People came and went. My son in law thought the recovery room nurse was superior--wish I could remember that time.  Leah was beside my bed.  I can remember sending her home.  I do remember sometime late in the evening they gave me a turkey sandwich.  My back was killing me.  Not because of the pain, it was itching off.  One wonderful nurse took a rough towel and scrubbed it...I loved her so.  Sometime during the night they brought in a patient for the other bed in my room.  A young woman who was three months pregnant and had had gall bladder surgery at a hospital west of Cleveland.  I worried all night and until I left. She had no privacy.  I was privy to all her personal history and info. 

I came home on Wednesday afternoon, a little more than forty eight hours after I arrived.  I still cannot put together the experience in any kind of sequence.  I do remember some things:

  •  the five am, or so, rounds by the impersonal and efficient surgical team.  Saying wrote things to an old lady.
  •  asking questions to the white backs of that small reportedly efficient group of surgeons.
  • finally asking a nurse to please check my back, I hadn't moved off it for a long time. She found a cut gown  and other stuff under me.  I felt so much better when it was all gone.
  • wonderful efficiency in keeping my pain under control.   one time only, a nurse came in that had never seen me before and handed me pain pills.  I had to say...Russelline Greenlaw, August 1..... She almost dropped her teeth.  We became great friends , but I don't think she will forget to identify correctly..
  • being taken by wheelchair to a holding area while waiting for Justin, my son-in-law to get the car. I sat alone and wondered what would happen if I passed out... it had only been a little over forty-eight hours since I had undergone four hours of surgery under general surgery. Not a professional in sight.
I do know the systems that have been put in place are really good.  They certainly had been well thought out.  Bet not a single OLD person had input.  It was all about energy and youth. Entry and Exit from the hospital were very easy, albeit impersonal.  My communications with the surgical department was greatly enhanced by being able to access the nurse coordinator. 

I was very disappointed.  I really have had such good experiences at Duke.  I had such exceptional surgeons.  Dr. Hey, my spinal surgeon, and his team would have never showed me their back with questions unanswered.  I shall never forget his prayer with me before surgery.  God held his hands.   Dr. Proctor my general surgeon would never have not given me eye contact. My hip surgen did not give me any more minutes than the cleveland clinic doc, but it was quality time.

 I truly thought that the days of haughty, impersonal, and lack of communication skills on the part of physicians were gone.  Not so. This is only a story of the Surgical Service and of the Anesthesia Service.  My visits with my internal medicine, pain management , urology and physical therapy experiences rate way high.  I was pleased with every NURSE I met. I do understand how the local folks can question how good the Clinic really is and choose another venue..

 Maybe it is because it is so cold in Cleveland.

Friday, January 21, 2011

OFF TO SURGERY ON MONDAY....Cleveland Clinic

Cleveland Clinic Complex
Inside Surgical Center
I will be having surgery on Monday at Cleveland Clinic for my appendix.  Therefore, after I post today, I will not be posting until I get back and feel like sitting here.  Some of you may ask why am I sharing my experience so openly.  Well, it may be helpful.  Not so many people let you in their mind and since mine is so empty it will not be too complex for you to follow me.  Just joking.

I have chosen Cleveland Clinic as my provider for health care.  I am not one that cares a lot about the touchy feely of delivery.  I want the best staff I can have.  I rate the technical expertise and outcomes top on my list.  If they relate to me in some great way that is a plus, but not required.  I have researched both the clinic and my physician.

My experience at Cleveland Clinic has been so positive so far.  Maybe because it is very much, if not  identical to Duke.  I am very familiar with a hundred people asking the same questions, the multiple roles of nurses, and all the hustle and bustle.  Leah will be with me until they let me be on my own.  We are thinking that 24 hours after I have had the procedure, I will be good to go.  To back up just a little...I have been having bowel problems for quite a while, mostly controlled.  I told my primary care, Ann Tann, MD, after thanksgiving at a regular appointment.  She ordered a CAT and it showed a 2 cm, very small, lesion at the site of my appendix.  I was referred to one surgeon who chose to send me to another one who is very skilled in appendix work.  No kidding.
Dr. Chilikonda
The most critical step for me was to choose the best surgeon I could find.  I choose Sricharan Chilikonda, MD.  This may be a bit of a surprise to most of you who know I have a bias.  He is listed as Surgical Oncology, Minimally Invasive and Robotic Surgery...that is what is on his card. He is part of the Digestive Disease Institute.  His interests are: biliary and pancreatic surgery, gastrointestinal surgery, general surgery, hepatobiliary and pancreatic surgery, hepatobiliary surgery, Hepatocellular Carcinoma, laparoscopic liver surgery, laparoscopy, liver, Liver surgery, Metastatic Cancers, Surgical Oncology. I guess he has the abdomen covered. .  He will be repairing a hernia at my belly button, so as part of the Hernia Institute, guess this is also a match.  He was recruited from University of Pittsburgh.  He was on staff in the Division of Surgical Oncology at the University of Pittsburgh where he served as Director of Robotic Surgery. He is currently in the Department of Hepatobiliary and Transplant surgery and is Director of the General Surgery Robotics program at the Cleveland Clinic.  OK so I think I have it covered.  I cannot choose my anesthesiologist.  The most important thing I wanted to know was how it actually worked in the OR.  The anesthesiologist, the MD, supervises anesthetists during procedures.  In this case the supervision ratio is 1:3 with additional backup when needed.  I feel comfortable with this.  Normally, the nurse anesthetist is so skilled that he/she does not need the MD.  However, when they need them they really need them.  It is a good question to ask, although the staff will think you are a little crazy , but do not be afraid.  There are some hospitals in this country that do not have a MD on site. 





I will be having general anesthesia.  I have had it so many times in the past four years, that it is almost routine for me. Today's induction is so improved as is the recovery.














I am having moments of pure panic.  Most of the time I talk myself into knowing that this is such a little thing.  The report from the CAT scan was: DIFFUSELY DILATED APPENDIX, THIS IS MOST LIKELY MUCOCELE OF THE APPENDIX   THOUGH APPENDICEAL CARCINOMA CANNOT BE EXCLUDED.  One of the most exciting things about Duke and Cleveland Clinic is that they have a chart that is available to patients.  Everything is open and known to the patient.  This is the goal of all systems in the future.  Many times physicians will take it upon themselves to tell you what they want you to know.  These times are getting fewer.  Unfortunately, in my opinion, the most incompetent of the physicians use lack of information to avoid letting their patients know of their incompetency.  Information is not withheld in any form.  .Some of you would prefer not to know details.  I shall never forget, setting up one of the first patient education committees in the country at Barnes in St. Louis.  We brought the doctors to the table, yelling and screaming.  They wanted nothing written.  My preoperative information came in a personalized booklet of over fifty pages.  Quite an advancement.  I really hate it when patients do not take advantage of the improvements.  I am hoping that every reads every word of the things they get, researches on the Internet and talks to professional friends that they may have.

Back to being scared.  Of course I am.  My closed mouth but wonderful grandmother, would be shocked to know that I was letting even casual friends know how I am feeling.  My family will relate.  Coping with the next few days will be a challenge.  Especially since I am in a different place and have not developed any friends and am not yet active in my church.  My sister has been a constant support to me in the last twenty years, and she is no longer close by.  That saddens me so much. Leah has been with me on brief occasions, but never for the long haul.  Lots of waiting.  She will be so helpful.  My strategy is to keep busy.  Today I am cooking corned beef for the family...cleaning house, and getting my things in order.

Another thing to do, I have to make sure my health care power of attorney is in order.  In the past the person I trust most, my friend Jane, has held that. I really do not feel that close family should be put in a position of having to make the decisions.  It still reads that way but I have to rewrite it.  I know that my daughter will use her as a resource if it is needed and will listen to her sage advice. Making sure your financial and healthcare poa is in order is a must.  The other document that really needs to be in order is the DNR document.  I know that this is a real low risk procedure, but variables exist...so lets be prepared and make it easier for the people who have to make the decisions and take care of you.  So many people ignore the preparation of these documents as well as a will.
        I will re read all my instructions this afternoon.  I have to do only clear liquids on Sunday and not eat anything after midnight.  So some hearty meals are in order...but not too much.  Although they told me that there would be no bowel prep, thank goodness, I was still worried.  that prompted an additional call to the nurse practitioner in the surgeons' practice.  She said it was great I raised the question.  We all know our bodies better than anyone.  So we agreed that I would do a simple laxative, and only have clear liquids on Sunday.  I hope every patient in the world compares their body with the general knowledge and asks and asks and asks.  What if he does need to use and incision rather than the laproscope that is planned?  The cleaner the better.  If I had complete evacuation every day, this would not be a concern.  I do not.  So lets get that bowel as clean as possible.  Thank goodness it will not be a Go Lightly thing. 
I don't need to carry anything much but my documents and iPhone.  The hospital has clothing.  I am not interested in pretty, so that gown is very comfortable and utilitarian.  I will not be wearing makeup--most of you will want at least a little lipstick, but not me, just something else to keep up with.  I will have my glasses and iPhone:  they have comb and brush, dental care items so I will leave those at home. My daughter will carry a little bag for me. Forget the book, I have a regular book and a audio book ready to go on my phone.  The hospital will have stuff to support walking and other movements. No special pillow, Most hospitals will not allow this, thank goodness because of the bed bug problem and general inability to know cleanliness of individuals.  So get over personal preferences.  No jewelry, lock it up.  Prepare to amuse yourself with people watching, resting, and whatever TV might be availableAnd my iPhone.  I will have another bag, if a longer stay is required, but still will take very little.

The most important thing to me, is to have an open and inclusive conversation with my daughter.  This is above all the most important thing.  Now, this conversation is assuming that this is a simple 12 hour procedure.  But, it must  include all alternatives.  This will be so hard for me, but harder for her.  Taking enough time to take care of this business is worrying me more than anything.  Talking to my other family and friends is important, even critical.... although this is a minor major surgical thing. 

Well you are in my mind.  I know that there are so many other things to say, but for now this is enough.  I will be back with you when my experience is over.  Love my Blogging and will be back soon

Til next time.....