A TODDLER DAUGHTER......

Yesterday I chronicled only a few months of my daughters life.  I want to continue to tell you about her. 

Just like it.

As I returned to work at Duke, my next door neighbor took care of Leah.  She had lost a baby and desperately wanted to be pregnant.  It was in many ways perfect  because she was so diligent in her care.  One incident was very depressing.  Every day my little girl was dressed with frillies.  We were letting her wear her gold ring.  One day when I came home and picked Leah up, the ring was gone.  It had been mine as a baby.  Well, the search was one for the records.  My husband even raked the path from our house to theirs.  It was never found.  She cared for her until Joe finished college and went to work.  His friend Bill Holder, who had quit medical school, worked for Center for Disease Control and loved what he was doing.  He was in the department that handled sexually transmitted disease.  After an interview in Atlanta, he was hired and assigned to Fayetteville, NC.  It was time to move.



VA across from our house.



I was reinstated in the VAH in Fayetteville and he started his career.  We found a really cute house, less than two blocks from the VAH.  The search for someone to care for Leah was easy.  A supervisor at the hospital was the sister of the local ob/gyn doctor.  He was older and had an empty house so I inherited Elizabeth.  She was just what we needed..  Always on time.  Leah loved her.  I shall never forget one afternoon when I came home her was Elizabeth and Leah at the kitchen table eating a healthy portion of "chitterlings".  Both were enjoying them so much.  It was all I could do to keep my stomach still. 

Being a toddler and stubborn is a real combination.  It is during this 2-3 years of her life that I began to understand the individual she would become.  Two examples come to mind.  On one occasion, she was on the back patio.  She was the victim of a folding beach chair.  It collapsed.  She couldn't sit upon it and sing, as were her habit.  She worked as I watched for thirty minutes to put it back together.  That is a terrific amount of concentration for a two year old.  She still has that persistence.  It has served her well.

The second remembrance is one that taught me a big lesson.  We had a group of people over in the very small house.  I carefully put Leah to bed as Joe finished the cleaning, We read a story and I tucked her in.  As the party got going, she peeped out the hall door to see what was happening.  The tenth time I took her back to the bed, I gave her some swats , she just dug her heels in and I would no more than get back and she would be peeping.  The next time I took her back to her room there were tears in my eyes.  I told her that if she didn't go to sleep and stay in her bed, I couldn't entertain my friends.She had helped me get everything ready and was so curious as to how they were liking it.    She put her little hand on my back, patted me, and said something to the effect, "mommy I love you, I don't want you to be sad."  I knew then that with a little explanation, she would be happy to cooperate.  We did not believe in spanking and I had come so close with that pat on the behind.  When I was little, the done thing was switching and spanking. I just felt that there had to be a better way and my little toddler proved it.

We moved from that house to a larger one a few miles away on Kenwood Dr.  Next door to the Teals.   It is a time that I remember as really good.  Leah started to preschool.  Mrs. Haney's school sent a bus to pick her up and away she went.  She had a set of tags that I still have to this day.  A big safety pin...colored tags ...One for the bus, one for the classroom, etc.  It was not a good preschool because it simply concentrated on behaving properly..She learned how to eat with several forks, stand in a receiving line; to this day I do not know why she needed to know that at that time more than reading. .  It was the best in Fayetteville.  Her next door friend Monte went there also.

Then we had to move again.  We were renting and we made a vow that the next house would be bought.  It was fortunate we found a house right around the corner on Rodwell Road. She could keep her same school and friends.  Leah had a terrible time with the little girl whose backyard backed up to ours.  She had a playhouse that was all wired with electricity and was carpeted.  She didn't let her playmates touch anything.  Give me a break.  We had a grape arbor in the back yard.  We loved picking the grapes.  Mrs. Faircloth came to help.  She would come before Leah left for school, get her on the bus, and have cookies ready when she came home.  She also cleaned our house. 

 We cried when we had to move to Philadelphia.  Leah was going into the second grade.

THE BEST GIFT ... MY DAUGHTER

Since it is Daughters Week, it seems very appropriate today for me to write about the day my daughter was born.  It happens to be the best day in my life. 



First of all, my pregnancy was a good one.  I worked all but two weeks before she was born so I was very active.  I had only two incidences of nausea.  One while taking report on the unit I worked and the other at her grandmothers house when I smelled egg nog at Christmas.  I didn't know I was pregnant.  We had been trying for over a year and I was beginning to think it would never happen. But when it happened, I spent many nights as I went to sleep singing to her , reading  to her, just hoping she would hear. Joe thougth I was crazy. 

    The clothes were a hoot.  Very Very comfortable.  We tried to hide the bubble, unlike today.

    Where we lived was mostly made up of students at UNC or Chapel Hill.  Joe was a student working in the Pathology department at the UNC Hospital.  We had many social times.  Playing volley ball and hide and seek were two of the games.  It was very depressing to have to sit and watch.  My friend Jane and I were pregnant at the same time and both of us were very jealous of those having such a good time. Jane's Tommy was born near the same time as Leah.

     Several days before I went into labor, her father and I walked the two mile trek to our friends house up the Old Chapel Hill Road.  And then we walked back.  I was so tired.  The tale was if you walked you would go into labor.  Well, that didn't work, so my husband got out the castor oil.  That I took by the ton.  It didn't work either.  I should have known.  She would do things in her own time and in her own way. 

North Carolina Memorial Hospital in the Sixties

Her grandmother was coming after she was born to help.  Instead she had arrived a week before I went into labor.  Great planning.  She would ask me every few minutes... How do you feel?  Any pains?  She was very excited.  My husband was no better.... They could not wait for this little baby.  Of course we did not know if I was to have a daughter or son.  In those days, we didn't have a way to know ... we just were surprised.  Hence, lots of yellow and green at showers.
     The time finally came on Sunday, August 18, 1963.  Yes her birthday is on the 20th, Tuesday.  But, on Saturday night I was having pains and went to the Hospital.  I was sent home.  The next day I went back again and was admitted.  My memory of labor is very vague.  They say you do not remember the pain.  Well that and the fact that I was given Scolpolamine and Demerol which left me with no memory....
I know that when I would moan and yell, Joe would put a cold cloth on my forehead.  Made me mad as a wet hen. I was in labor for two days. Today I would have had a section; progress is good!    Finally, at 11:55 PM on the 20th she arrived. 


A Nursery of the Sixties

      I remember nothing until the next morning.  I woke up.  No baby bubble. I screamed!  Nurses came a running.  My baby was in the nursery, I was told..  Then they said, "We will be right back with her!"  They took forever.  So I found out I had a little girl.  Joe and his mom had gone home to rest.  I called him and what I got was a sleepy man who said, we are sleeping call back.  Good for them.  The nurses didn't come back, didn't come back, didn't come back.  I rang the bell over and over again.  You have no idea the thoughts that were going through my head.  She didn't survive, she was deformed.... and on and on....   But, finally, the nurse comes pushing a bassinet.  She took her out and there was the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.  She was the usual pink, and when she looked at me and curled her little hand around my little finger I felt so overwhelmed.... I was gone the minute I saw her.  I loved her when I carried her.  I have loved her more every day of her life.  I love her now more than ever.  She is wonderful!!

In those days we stayed in the hospital for five days.  I had a wonderful corner room with windows on two sides.  The UNC hospital was close enough to hear the bells of the Bell Tower sing.  I received such pretty and wonderful things.  I was asked what I wanted to eat.  My husband sent me TWO dozen red roses in a blown glass vase. A dozen roses were a big deal in those days much less two dozen.   I have protected the vase and gave that blue and white vase to Leah just a few years ago.   I was pampered.  Those five days of being Queen and having time with my Princess was wonderful.  She was with me as much as they would let me have her.  Feeding her, burping her, changing her.... just she and I.together. Back in the day, very few people had access to the new baby.  Visitors, including Dad, went to the nursery window. 

     One incident of great importance was Leah's naming.  I had filled out the Birth Certificate with her name and all the other details. Joe and I had agreed that she would be Lea Frances  Moore.  I really liked the little name, Lea... my name was so long and complicated.  I liked naming her for both her Grandmother and my Aunt Frances.  As fate would have it, when the clerk came into the room to have it validated, her grandmother was there.  I was sound asleep.  She changed the name to Frances Leah Moore.  When I woke up, she informed me that they had made this TERRIBLE mistake.  I just couldn't tell her that it was no mistake.  Joe was not about to tackle that!  Fortunately, Leah loves her name.  She liked the fact that we called her Leah and not Frances.  All is Good.

     I couldn't wait to get her home, dress her in her frillies, and rock her in our chair. We had made a bassinet for her....it lasted only a few days. 

It was borrowed from one of the girls where we lived but I did the addition of frillies..   I forgot I would have to share her with everyone else when I got home.  My husband, my mother-in-law, and many friends from where we lived.  They were trying to make me so happy.  Joe and his mom had prepared their favorite dish, it takes two days to make.  It is called South Carolina Hash.  Mostly just onions, potatoes and meat.  It was really hard to get down.  They thought I loved it, but it took all the fortitude I had to get it down.  In the day, diapers were very soft cotton.  They were washed in our washing machine, thank goodness we had one. We did not have a dryer.  Clothes had to be taken to the clothesline at the back.  Getting out, down the back stairs, walking down the hill and putting them on the line, out to dry, was a chore.  I was still quite sore.  But that chore was not one that any other adult in the household was willing to do.  I had to hang them dodging the droppings from the pine trees.  They are beautiful but the resin can be hard to get out of diapers.



I was scheduled to be off work for six weeks.  But, alas, since Leah was late by two weeks, that meant that I had to go back  in a month.  With Joe in school, there was not options.  I cried for weeks when I had to leave her with Joe or the babysitter next door.  In three months, it was too much, so I quit my job at the VA hospital and stayed home for six months..  We made it somehow.  It was the best time.  I loved being home with her.  I went back to work at Duke as there was a job freeze at the VA.  I worked on OB until it was time for us to move to Fayetteville, NC.

I Love You, My Daughter.....

WHY? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN

David Crabtree

Yesterday David Crabtree, an anchor newsman and a Deacon in my church, CHRIST CHURCH in Raleigh sent this to his Facebook account....  I was struggling with the WHY as we all do when something like this happens.  A thinking person goes through their cabinet of knowledge to try to make some sense of it all. 

When he posted this bit of wisdom..... my heart said YES.  I am motivated to try and figure out what I intend to do.

His post:

In the final analysis, the questions of why bad things happen to good people transmutes itself into some very different questions, no longer asking why something happened, but asking how we will respond, what we intend to do now that it happened.      

Pierre Teilhard de ou

Dante

I thought about my circle.  The people I know.  My influence is certainly not as great as it has been.  Once you become an old lady, somehow your, to some, becomes prattling and otherwise ignored.  It Hurts.  So what can I do.  Usually when I have volunteered with political groups, Church groups, and others.... I am now given the task of stuffing envelopes, etc.  I decided that probably the only way I can really do something is at home and with my fingers on my Blog.  I shall do that.  I will share.  I will not remain silent.  As many of you know, Silence has been a subject that I have shared my thoughts about for years.  So bottom line, I will not be silent.  Recently, I sometimes find myself  censoring things, especially in the Blog.  I ask myself if my high school friends would approve? how about my friends who are Republican, Democrat, Fundamentally Christian, Liberal Hollywood? Relatives.... Yep, all of these read my Blog.  So, I can start with being very honest in our opinions.  Not hurtful, but honest with explanation.  I have a responsibility to tell why I think what I think, and do what I do.  My most important legacy is to my grandson Sterling and my daughter Leah.  They have heard me over the years sometimes edited sometimes not.

I know many of you know that I am quite upset about the rise of Sarah Palin.  There are many strong republican women, and she was chosen.  Give me a break.  Even Megan McCain gives this time in her book.  However, when a shooting occurs can we blame her??  I think I blame the media more, certainly.  As a responsible politician some clear communication needs to take place.  What was she thinking when she announced the people she had in the "crosshairs"  Did she know that there was someone out there that would take that and act on it for her? I am sure she did not.   Is this what happened? It may well be failure of another system.  It may be because of our really bad media.  I am sure we will find out.  Freedom to speak is for everyone... certainly for Palin. and for me and you.

 It is all about silence vs speaking your opinion.  Balancing. 

I look back at my education at Duke, and Washington University. The encouragement given to us to speak our opinion almost scared me as an undergraduate. If I thought that was bad when I was working and going to graduate school I struggled to be politically correct and also say what I thought. In following my thread for today I am going back to my educational roots and speak out.

• When I speak I cannot be responsible for what any other human being does with what we say. 
• We need to say it anyway.
• When I speak I have a responsibility to be clear.
• It is difficult sometimes, and may take some time.
• When I speak I need to not censure myself, but we need to think before I speak to make sure I am  saying what I mean.
• Bite your tongue, my grandmother used to say. I add: But don't bite it forever, just until you are sure you are communicating well your opinion and thoughts
• I will seek out groups to discuss, add to our own knowledge, and to debate issues.
• Begin at the dinner table with family, expand to school, church, and friendly lunches.
• I will evaluate the situation to determine how I should say what I say.  Sometimes there is so much of a closed mind that I have to figure out a different way.
• I will avoid putting down anyone in large groups and I will not be personal in my attacks on ideas..

I will try to wipe out Political Correctness.  Obama is having a real problem with this.  So why shouldn't I?  Ralph, my ex husband and I attended a Alumni weekend at  Amherst.  The time was rich with ideas.  One of my favorite presentations was a professor from Chicago and a long term tenured New England professor... their topic Political Correctness.  I came away with such conflict.  This is not the country I grew up in.  It is not the country that thrives on openness, progress through idea sharing, and freedom of speech.

Lemmings

I will also make sure that I am not following just because others do.  I will not be a lemming.  For many years I have encouraged my students. family, employees... only follow when the leader is taking you to a good place.  Don'ts lemming.....

This blog is getting way too long.  I know I will think some more.  There are certainly a lot more issues connected to the shootings.  Our mental health system, our family support systems, and our educational systems all play a part.    I will decide and I hope you will decide to do what your heart calls you to do.

BOOKS

BOOKS, such a history!  I decided to write about books this afternoon simply because I have a habit, as much as I have habits, I do jump around from thing to thing. I never go to  bed at the same time.  I forget to take medicine.  I do not eat at the same time.  But, I watch Book TV on the weekends.  This is a great way to hear about new books, see the authors discuss their books, and to hear questions.  Certainly, at this time in the history of the world, we are so very fortunate.  People say that there are a lot of books, but not of the quality of the old masters.   I certainly disagree.  If books are to inform and inspire there are many who do just that.  Of course, there are many written just for greed.  But, if you read much, you know the difference.  http://www.booktv.org/

I always tried to read and read and read to my little ones.  We still have books that Leah had as favorites as she grew up.  The Giving Tree was one of her favorites and she has a very giving and loving nature.  I believe that book had something to do with that.  It was an every night book for a while.   I cannot leave out the series of the time...Leah's father really loved The Cat in the Hat.. One book that is under our tree every Christmas is worn and old...but it is always there.....

I was wonderfully surprised when Sterling first read alone.  He came running into my room and was so upset.  He said, "Meme, why are they killing children?"  I was very upset and asked him where he heard that..  He said , "It is on the front of the newspaper today!  He was four.  I didn't know he could read.  I knew then, that he would succeed.  He was a reader.  I still have to have a newspaper delivered.  So cheap and so important.  I choose this newspaper... John Hope Franklin was a personal friend of my husband, a Duke professor and  a scholar .

      I will take this outlet to rant a little about books.  Sterling, my grandson, is starting college this next week.  He has a list of books a mile long for three courses.  The cost is out of sight.  I called my friend Harry  who is an academic and worked for a publishing company.  I asked him how English 101 could warrant a new edition every year?  Greed.  They print them in colors.  I do not believe this country has the values of GREED and screw the ones that have the littlest amount of money....our students.... our future.  I would expect the publishers to support not gouge.  I am wrong.  I am so angry as I am looking and looking for the books at a reasonable price.  I am comparing table of contents and find no difference.  I have resorted to looking at the syllabus and buying the first book(s) and continuing to look for reasonable ones.  One book for English costs $120.00.  I can understand why the kids are going so deeply in debt for their education.

     One book that we have many copies of in my house.  The Bible.  I have my grandmothers, my Aunt Frances', mine, and who know who else.  Last time I counted there are 11. I only use two.. a study Bible and a King James Version.  In this case the version matters.  My favorite book from a religious perspective is my Book of Common Prayer.
     Books come in so many formats.  We can read from a book, from a iPhone, from a Kindle...... We have Audiobooks (my favorite) to read in cars, or as you fall off to sleep.  I am reading, again, Narrative in the Life of Stephen Douglas.  I am reading it by audiobooks, free, on my iPhone.  Of, course, Sterling has been asked to buy it, and a specific edition.  I am really enjoying his books.  One especially,:  Rock and Roll:Its History and Stylistic Development 6th Edition with CD.  When he gets done, the money he will get for it does not even warrant selling it.

Keeping all!

On the subject of books, It is so hard for me to give them up.  I do not know what psychology that is.  I know that the best and most prolific reader in my family is Alyce, my sister.  She does have habits.  Most of them good, she reads every night before bed.  She goes through tons of books.  Then she can give them up.  I guess I consider them a friend and getting rid of them would be like getting rid of a friend.  I wish I had her discipline.... I would be much more productive.  My nephew-in-law, Sean, beats us all in reading.  He keeps his books.  I love going to their home.
 If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison


You may have tangible wealth untold;  Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.   Richer than I you can never be - I had a mother who read to me.   ~Strickland Gillilan (Thanks, Laurel)

WATCH Book TV over the weekend.  It is such a window to the world for me.  I love the way it works.  Watching Megan McCain discussing her new book.. Dirty Sexy Politics.  WOW...  There are so many lessons there. You get a different perspective of a younger generation of Republican women.  Not near so unthinking and reactionary as their older members (Palin).  I agree with Megan.... there are so many terrific female Republicans, how could anyone choose her.  Her advice... Stop the Media.  Enough on Politics.

WORKING FOR JOINT COMMISSION JCAHO



Hancock Building Home of JCAHO

Dennis O'Leary, MD President



     Today I spent some time at the Doctor's office again.  No big deal, just getting ready for my surgery next week.  The time brought my memories back to working for the JOINT COMMISSION.  It was on this day in 1987 that I began my tenure with the "JOINT".  I flew into Chicago, took a limo, registered at a fancy hotel, and got ready to start JCAHO employment on Monday.  I had just come back from Saudi Arabia.  Nothing could have been a bigger shocker than walking up the Magnificent Mile from my hotel to the Hancock Building  and to JCAHO.  The wind was blowing snow everywhere.  There was another new employee that you will know....Dennis O'Leary.  I knew him first while we were stealing donuts from the kitchen next to the conference room.  I had no idea who he was, but we enjoyed conversations all during my orientation. and later as a mature surveyor I felt he listened. It has been fun to watch his JCAHO career.

     I was not prepared mentally or physically for Chicago..   I  had left Dhahran in early October, traveled through Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, and China and arriving back in the States through Hawaii.  The average temperature was in the eighties.  My friend Mary Rose and I sailed for two weeks, then it was home and job hunting. 



Magnificent Mile



    My friend Alice Parrish, you will hear more about her later, suggested strongly I apply to Joint Commission to be a surveyor, I did and I was for fifteen years. I will never forget getting the telephone call.  I was visiting my friend Jane in Raleigh.  Her house has been a warm spot in my life for years.  Thanks, Jane.

      The class for February 1987 was wonderful.  I am searching down those folks, so if you know where they are, please let me know.  Searching....I am also looking for pictures and mJCAHO history.  It is amazing how little information is on the net. Only today and what is gonna be.   As I indicated, we walked (I am sure today,they would have sent a limo) from our hotel to the Hancock building and took an elevator to the 22nd floor, I think. You almost didn't notice the dire cold and snow when you walked the Magnificent Mile.  

    I do not believe I have ever studied as hard.  We started at 8am and ended at 6pm. Maybe ate a pick up then it was more study.  Usually in a group.  Pat Hassel was my model, so smart!  Thanks Pat. 

COLD, COLD MORE COLD

     My first assignment was in Albion, NY.  The team was Josephine Tozolo, Don Hansen, and the doctor rotated.  Don gave me guidance and advice that he will never remember as being such a support to me. Jo did not think I had any future in the Joint and used ever effort to get me out.  She did not succeed.  I hope she knew that I was well motivated and did survive.  Don helped as did Rosemary Laubenthal; they believed in me.Thanks.  I think Jo got a bad taste in her mouth when we arrived in Albion looking for a motel.  She took one look at my yellow caddy--I think she wanted to have a stroke. I loved that car we both lasted over 18 years.

Beekman Downtown

We surveyed only one day per survey that year.  My first assignment was in NY.  We visited Jamestown NY.  I finished my surveyor training just five hospitals later after doing Beekman Downtown.  Jo left, telling me I should go home.  I called Rosemary.  She simply said you. have a schedule and you are expected to finish it.  I did, and about 600 hospitals later, I retired.  Thanks to Don Hansen! 

Where we choose to stay was always interesting.  During my first exposure to New York, the city, it was more interesting.  Hotels were toooo expensive.  We found the Pan American on Queens Blvd.  It was something I don't want to remember, but I do.  The rooms were small and the roaches were huge.  I couldn't sleep, Jo was telling me I had to go.... It wasn't  a good memory.  I am sure it has improved since 1987.

More about JCAHO, motels, hotels, roads, people and hospitals later.

PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIFTED ME UP..... PHAL




Phal Buntoum



     This morning I woke up thinking about how alone growing older can be.  Feeling sorry for myself, I guess.   That led my  thoughts to the many, many people I have known over the years that have helped me beyond any expectation.  How rich they have made my life.
     The first person I thought about was Phal   My life was in such disorder and she was my rope to order and sanity for over five years in Raleigh.  I was so lucky to have her in my life.  She thought that she was housekeeping for me.  What she was really doing was keeping my attitude a positive one.  She was helping me keep my sanity.  She was bringing me a wonderful view. 
      She would come and sunshine would come in my little condo.  Very quietly I would hear her come in and begin when I was sleeping after hours of pain.  We would talk about life.   She knew the pain of being afraid, surviving on her own, being alone, and starving.  She came to this country from an Asian country and survived atrocities that you and I can only imagine, and probably not very well.  Yet, her attitude never altered.  She came to my house in kindness, warmth and giving. 

Snowy garden, rare in Raleigh

The time she was with me was one filled with change for me.  I had a long series of surgeries and other painful times.  My garden in the back of the condo was my love.  When I first moved in I had a landscaper plant for me.  I loved sitting and just absorbing, even the spiders.  Phal and I shared our love of plants and everything gardening.  She knew the details of the plants that were shared with her homeland.  The things to eat, to use as medicine and to enjoy with our soul.  We would weed, cultivate the soil, fertilize and suffer the beetles.  We almost lost the war of the wisteria and mint.  These are two of my favorite things.  But alas, for a very small garden they can take it over.  We fought the prolific monsters as if they were the enemy.  She dug with her tiny hands, down to the bottom of the roots.  Sometimes we would laugh when another would come in that exact spot.  The hours I spent with her in my walled garden were a source of such happiness for me.

As my back got worse, I could do so little when it came to bending and cleaning up after my kitties.  I thought I was going to have to give them up.  But with never a word of protest, Phal helped me with the litter detail.  I kept my kittens.  She will never ever know, well not until now, how grateful I am to her.

On my chair  Squeaks and Simba

On my Four Poster... Simba and Squeaks

As I moved to Cleveland each day that she helped me as  I cried. She probably, more than anyone else in my life understands my pain at leaving.  We looked at so many of my little treasures and appreciated.  She got rid of stuff for me, cleaned and cleaned.  I wish she was here with me as I face another surgery.  But I would never wish her to be in Cleveland instead of Raleigh. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

WRITING A BLOG, OR ANYTHING

It seems appropriate that I talk a little about writing.  For years I have been significantly intimidated when it comes to writing.  I think it comes from the classes I spent in my freshman year at Duke.  I am sure some of you remember the trek via bus, foot or begged ride, from West to East and the walk to the classroom.  Usually I was significantly tired  and it took me a while to get acclimated to the seat.  We never seemed to have enough time to get to class on East. 

I did well in my senior year at Greensboro Senior High School with Louise Smith^.  She was a jewel as I later found out. Seems I did not appreciate her enough until I got to Duke and I know I never told her how I felt.  She had a huge pile of books in the back of our classroom.  They were certainly musky enough.  I was somehow sure that she bought them as first publication even though they were all the classics.  She seemed so old then, but she taught another twenty or so years after I left...maybe more.  Many of you remember her.  She truly got us ready for college.  It would have been unheard of today, but she required a composition each week.  Somewhere between 250 and 500 words.  Oh my!  Kids today would die.  As I said, I did well at Duke with A's because of her.   Her first quote in class was.....

"GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,

Old Time is still a-flying:

And this same flower that smiles to-day

To-morrow will be dying.

My goodness she was a smart one!  That poem means a lot more today.

Back to my intimidation.  It is all about grammar.  I had to be so careful and somehow it takes away the spontaneous nature of writing.  I am not good at detail.  That is one reason.  The other is that through my life I have done lots of writing but.... it was technical in nature and that is a whole different set of rules, and when I wrote for articles and contributions for books I had wonderful staff and editors.  

Now I am just putting words down in this Blog.  The purpose is different.  I am sharing my life, my memories, my thoughts and whatever else.  I don't really care about the grammar,if you can read it. Some of you will cringe at the rules I ignore, and some of you wont even know the difference. I know that some things I say will be so misinterpreted, and some of you will think it is foolish... many will love and enjoy.  Hope you never feel it is pointed at you.   If it is ever published I am sure some lovely editor will take care of the grammar.

“Writing is one way of discovering sequence in experience . . . connections slowly emerge. Like distant landmarks you are approaching, cause and effect begin to align themselves . . . experiences . . . connect and are identified as a larger shape.”

Eudora Welty


*For those who may be interested, in the Duke Archives, Louise Smith is interviewed in the Oral History of Civil Rights.... http://library.uncg.edu/dp/crg/oralhistitem.aspx?i=677