GRINCHING CHRISTMAS --- RULES

HOW TO GRINCH CHRISTMAS

Christmas is such an emotional and special time.  Doesn't seem to matter if  we are Christian or not.  It has to do with our own special history.  But, because of any number of reasons, there are ways that people screw up Christmas for others.  This seems to be the best time to remember how that happens.  This is very personal.  It is the stories of how people have made my Christmas a real emotional downer.  Maybe, I think to myself, If I write it down, it will take away the pain of it, the disappointment of it.  So here goes.  By the way, if it bores you to know about others experiences, skip this blog.

RULE 1
Tell someone you are going to do something and then don't do it.  I remember, as a child, I did not live with my parents, I lived with my grandparents. Many times my parents would tell everyone that they were coming for Christmas.  I would wait to open my presents waiting for them.  I would look out the door a hundred times to see if they were coming.  When the evening came and then night.  I would go and hide and cry.  Children, especially, look forward to things in such a real way.  Still today I react, not just at Christmas, but every day of the year when this happens.  My we sister and I share the suitcase story..... maybe someday we will tell you that one.  Of course, we cant always do what we say we will do..but we can always do things to make it so that it is understood. Just admit it!  I cannot get there, do it, etc.  Talk about it. I have to thank those of you who worked though pain to keep your word for your family and those you love.

RULE 2

I got the Spirit

Don't get the spirit.  Treating Christmas as just another day seems to be some kind of cop out.  Family and friends sometimes just don't get it.  They don't seem to know how great the day is.  Now, I will say, it is very tiring to make traditions and keep them.  But just another day?  I remember one Christmas when someone, not to be named, changed the oil in the car.  I remember yet another one, when someone read a book all day and talked to no one.  Anyhow, the spirit is the engagement, the laughter, the hugging and the loving.  So many times it is people we don't even know.  This year, Sterling is working in a grocery store.  He put on his Hurricane Santa Hat and shared that spirit with his customers.  He gets it!!!!



RULE 3.

Don't get the importance of tradition.  Almost all of us have traditions that we love.  For me, I love having a special time to open presents, having a special meal, reading the Christmas story from the Bible, having candles burning on Christmas Eve, having oyster stew on Christmas eve, listening to happy Christmas carols into the evening,  having everyone hang out in their pj's enjoying their special presents... So, yes, I am a traditionalist.  I don't think I am the only one.  When these traditions slip away, for me, then the importance of the season slips away.  Unless, of course, one tradition is changed for another.  This year as in 2006 we had a seafood Christmas meal.  Nancy's idea, I think. My daughter made the most wonderful change.  We had enough of the turkey and all the mess for Thanksgiving, so we decided to do the Seafood thing.  She put newspaper all over the table, and there was tons of crab legs, scallops, muscles, calmari, shrimp.... It was delicious and afterward just take newspaper and all to the trash.  I think since we have had it twice, it will become, for this family, a tradition.  It was especially nice, since we are not near the coast, to bring NC to Ohio.  Not so much work  Fun conversation.  Thanks Leah.

RULE 4

Being emotional absent.  It happens.  This is one of the very best ways to be the Grinch.  If you really want to spoil the day for everyone, then just don't participate with your heart and soul.  You know what it looks like.  No comments, no smiles, etc.  Sometime it is because of alcohol.  Sometimes it is because of drugs.  Sometimes it is because of self pity.  Sometimes it is because we are too concentrated on ourselves.  The bottom line question is.... how much can you forget yourself and how much can you make yourself happy by being  a contributing human being in others happiness. Being "under the influence" on Christmas Eve or on Christmas Day doesn't let others know what we are really feeling. Everyone walks on eggs, not being able to predict what will come next.  The words and actions of alcohol being questionable.  The highest level of being unfair to those we love.

RULE 5

Being physically absent.  This is very unlike, but like being emotionally absent. There are many times in our lives that we have made choices "not to go..." when going would have made the world such a happy place.  I know that there were many years that my parents could have come  to see us at Christmas but choose to booze.  I know there are times when sons choose their lives, daughters choose theirs, children choose their friends.  When being physically present would make the life of people who gave life joyous.  The issue here is self importance, self indulgence, and in some cases self protection.  It is not an issue of right or wrong.  It is just an issue.  The outcome is the truth.   I think of the people who are in long term care facilities, and in hospitals.  I have observed the deep pain of loneliness there.  Letting one of your own feel this loneliness is perhaps one of the most painful of all actions and may be one of our greatest sins..   Justin, my son in law, worked Christmas Eve this year and for the first time observed this and felt the pain of people just being dropped off, forgotten and alone.   Physically absent can be as simple as retiring to ones own room or as complex as flying half way around the world.   Some of my most wonderful Christmases were spent taking a plane from Arabia, driving to Florida and having a Christmas with my daughter and my sister and her family.  I know they couldn't possibly know how important they were to me. Thanks Alyce, Leah, Suzie, Nancy, Jim and Jeff.  Phone calls count here.  They make us physically present.  My sister always tries to be first to say Merry Christmas.  Thanks, Alyce.

RULE 6
Being Judgmental  Yes, we are all guilty aren't we.  I know that I am.  The judgements are not reserved for the old, like me, that have our outdated ideas of what ought be.  Although we can certainly be judgmental. But for each of us who puts down what is important to others.  It may be simple traditions that we think are stupid. It might be religious beliefs.  It is so hard to put away these things that we think should or ought be.... and truly enjoy others joy.  A motto from my friend Sherry:  Don't should on me.


I thought there were more ways to make a grinchful Christmas, but it seems like those six ways kinda take care of them all.   At least, these are the most important. 

Feeling the love of Christ through the love of family and friends makes the best of all Christmasses.