GROWING UP.. Philadelphia and St. Louis

We moved from Fayetteville, NC to New Jersey.  I failed to mention that the Elementary School that Leah spent her first year of real school, was desegregated the year she went.  The area was in chaos.  This was really not a good thing for Leah.  She was verbal, pretty, and smart.  She got to do what she wanted while her first grade teacher praised her and tried to take care of kids who needed her more.  Again, the quality of her education suffered. 

From Cherry Hill to Philly the Ben Franklin Bridge

We moved north.  Joe was the Director of STD program in Philadelphia.  We first looked for a place in Philly and places west.  But ended up BUYING a little dream house in Cherry Hill, New Jersey.  It stood on the corner, three bedrooms and two bathrooms.  Everyone in the neighborhood walked to school and came home for lunch.  That was a challenge for me.  My next door neighbor was Hilda and she adopted Leah.  She had to deal with five kids and one more was no trouble. She went over to their house in the morning, to school, back to their house for lunch, and to their house to do homework and wait for us to come back from downtown Philly.  Arthur, Hilda's husband worked in and Ad Agency in NYC.  He had a terrific way with the kids and made killer martini's.  I started to work in the VA in Philly, but couldn't stand being that far away, so I took a job in Camden.  I could attend all the school functions. 

The school in Cherry Hill was full of great teachers and resources.  Leah began to do things that she loved.  The swimming team at the local pool was one of her favorite activities.  Between the school and Hilda, she thrived. We had such opportunity for the brief time we were in the area.  Leah was introduced to real music performances.  She loved them.     It was at this house that she decided to run away.  She was a small eight year old.  She was going to live elsewhere because she didn't get her way.  She started packing.... I asked her what she was doing.  Packing ... I told her OH NO, you cannot take the things that we paid for with you.  Just your clothes you have.  She left, walked around to the side of the house and started on her journey.  With me watching carefully, in ten minutes she was running back to the front door.   I cried and she cried and we settled whatever issue it was. 
But alas it was time to move again. 

We crossed the Delaware River and headed west. When we crossed the Mississippi we knew we were in the right place...St. Louis.  It took us a month to find a house.  Joe's mother came to help us look.  I have no idea why.  We ended up in a suburb west of the city, Ballwin.  West county was the place to be,  Parkway West school system was rated one of the top five in the entire country.  I dug my heels in to make sure we got in the right place.  She stayed in this system until she finished High School. 
    I could spend many chapters of a book, discussing this part of her life.  There are a couple of things that stand out.  In middle school, she wanted to sign up for Shop.  This was traditionally  a place for boys and she was told just that.  She came home and told me that she had been denied entry.   Remember this is the seventies.  I paraded down to the school, and when the dust settled, she was in.  This  was really the beginning of her career because she learned drafting.  I still have a pair of bookends she made.
     Worth many words was her accomplishment in music.  Her voice is a wonderful gift..  She sang with all of the groups in the school including the top small group.  I was able to give her some private voice lessons.  I would lay on the bed in my room and listen to her beautiful sounds during these lessons. Her performances were so commanding.
     Our house was on the top of a hill and she had friends all around us.  Margie at the bottom of the hill, Lisa to the left, Seth next door, and Sue over in the condos.  She was always in and out of the house. We lived right across the street from a horse barn and pasture.  She wanted a horse with all her heart.  We said OK, but first you must go to camp for a month and learn all about horses.  When she came home, she had decided that having a horse wasn't all that important.  That summer she learned how to muck stables and clean feet.  I think maybe she wasn't wanting to spend her time doing that.
    She began dating and creating a lot of angst as with most parents.  I have spent more hours than she will ever understand worrying about her.  Most mothers would say this.. Seems that she really had the attributes that the boys thought were great.  She was truly physically beautiful, but understanding what was in her heart made her more beautiful inside. The tenderness she gave our animals including when our calico cat had kittens in the hall closet., showed her compassion. She played a twelve string guitar, very well 
    All the kids were latchkey-- seems like all the mothers with a few exceptions worked.  It was a safer and kinder world.  It scares me to think that there might be one child doing that today.  Her grandmother came to live with us for a few years, I felt she had more attention.  She left, not wishing to be in St. Louis or with us....never really knew why.
One of my friends, Cathy stayed home and she kept a keen eye on the neighborhood..  She saved Leah's life, I believe.  A tornado hit our house, about four pm, and this would have been the time that Leah would be watching TV in our den.  Cathy had seen the deep dark sky, yellow tones and had gathered kids in her house to wait out the story.  When I got home men were on the roof putting up a tarp and the chimney was in the middle of the den.  As in many times in my marriage, I tried to quit work and stay home.  There was always a promise that this would be good, after the next promotion.  That never happened.

Our Apartment

Parkway West High

In 1980 Leah and I left the house and moved into a beautiful apartment on the top floor of a building right near her school.  The year was calm.  We were both happy and relaxed.  We spent hours together in the pool, just recuperating from a really bad few years.  I really got to know my daughter that year.  One memory of her bringing pot seeds home, and me growing them, leads the list.  The plant grew nicely.  One day when my friend Carol came over, she asked why I was growing pot,  I swear I didnt know what I was growing.  
     We spent a year in the apartment.  Leah was dating Andrew who brought her the most unbelievable pastries for Christmas.  He was so in love with her. We moved back into the house after all the legal stuff was done.  It was not long before we headed back to North Carolina carrying with us her musical skills and looking forward to college and a new future.